The rats?
Ha, we didn’t even spot a single one. They are probably all hiding underground in the metro or warming their tails at a homeless person’s barrel fire. Rats don’t seem to appreciate the cold and windy Parisian winter days though the sun may be shining.
One could call it a truly unique phenomenon. It happens mostly when the axial tilt of the earth hits a certain angle and all heat appears to be vanishing from the Northern hemisphere (my place of origin by the way). About that very same time Putin’s Special Defence Forces send their Marshall Snow to haunt European homes and punch the peaceful Westerners’ wallets with their entire icy might. They have hardly recovered from last year’s attempts on their lives and now they are again strained to the brink of their existence. There is a clear correlence between dropping temperatures, the approach of Christmas and the all-out unfolding of the capitalist terror.
Normal people would refer to it as “Winter”.
Long story short, Nata and I traveled to a famous French city called Paris on a surprisingly hot winter evening just after dusk (at about 5pm). A friendly French guy with an astonishingly good level of English gave us a ride in his car that smelled of gasoline. He tried to fill up his reserve tank and spilled some into the inside of the trunk. To mitigate this smell, we rolled down the windows whenever we rolled at a speed lower than 90 km/h (that’s about 56 Freedom/Hamburger). While almost asphyxiating for the better portion of 5 hours and trying to find an acceptably comfotable balance between the cold and the smell of Horizon Zero Dawn after the explosion, we had some lively discussions. Blabla.car remains a recommended means of traveling.
Once in Paris, a grey and hasty world awaited. An inumerable number of swift cars were rushing to and fro on all sides. It became all to clear that we had reached the busy rush-hour of a metropolis. My first instinct was to think about empty promises of a car-free city dominated by bicycles (and rats) that we so often saw on the media. Instead, we found a rushing place that smelled of diesel – out of the frying pan and into the volcano…. Then Nata and I parted ways – she went to stay at her cousin’s, I went to join my Eesti connection whom I had met many eons ago in Georgia. We shared a few glasses of honey liquor in her above-average-sized Parisian flat. Good night!
Intro done. Lettuce get down to business.
The last time I was in Paris I had a positively dreadful time. Always rushing, never truly enjoying its rich history, diversity, splendour and charm. I have had my share of the Japanese “Paris Syndrome”, I had been severly let down and depressed. This was to change this time.
Though, of course, the city has some nice sides, is has more uncomfortable ones in store. I’m talking about social inequalities that has people living in segregation according to their income and ethnicity. If you look underneath any bridge in the city, you will be able to spot grapes of homeless people who will regularly be moved by the police, so that they may never again feel like they have a save spot to return to. I’m talking about the sheer enormity and density of the city that can become overwhelming and, I believe, dangerous during “canicules”, the heat-waves, that are bound to strike European heartland more often in the following decades. The relatively sparsity of green areas and trees in general are a factor that play into a feeling of disconnectivity with nature, and is dislikeable. Paranoia has also struck the city: The monument most known by the world for its solid metals looks and its partiularly striking airiness – it’s mostly made from air that hovers in between the large cast iron beams – has been fenced in and standing underneath it (!) will cost you dearly. It also troubles my heart to see so few a solar panel on the dreamy rooftops of the city…
In a way, Paris is indeed the impersonation of France. There’s huge social inequalities, problems with immigrants, environmental concerns, an arrogant loftiness and an almost fanatical dependence on nuclear power (this is slowing shifting to truly renewable energies).
I feel disinclined to continue writing the blog post in such a demeaning way. I’m no Parisian landlord after all. I am not going to exhort my dear and wonderful readers by charging them 1000€ /month to visit a single blog post. Quite on the contraire! It’s all for free! And you can leisurly stray these pages as you see fit. Or back off and find your inspirations somewhere else. However, if you have a minute to spare, have a look at the following points, that I am yet to discuss:
- Croissants
- Stealing bikes
- Museums
- Sub-culture
- Other very surprising and humane things
Croissants
This absolute legend of an Italian blogger made the test. He traveled all the way to Paris to check the best croissants of the city… when suddenly he was introduced to the French national hobby fierce strikes linked to the assassination of a minor(ity) driver by the French state thugs. This was a though thing to do, given the reputation of the country of “a place that you drive through to get to Italy” (Top Gear) and a torn stomach from too much butter.
I tried a similar experience, but far less guided and with less obesity involved. In the end I can say that the experience was wonderful and some croissants were seductively tasty, while other boulangeries could learn a lot from Luxembourgish bakers.
Stealing Bikes
Thanks to the progressive and innovative nature of the major of Paris, Anne Hidalgo, the city has planned a few improvements that already mean and will mean positive implications for the future. Not only has she pledged to clean the Seine river for the 2024 Olympic games in Paris, but has constructed long distances of bicycles lanes, plans on banning heavy SUVs (an absolute atrocious climate catastrophe and acompletely uneccessary luxury good) and generally wants to turn the city greener.
How does she want to realise all of these ambitious plans? By turning to the people of Paris! A referendum for instance shall decide whether Parisians want to allow SUVs on their roads. Or by providing free subscriptions for city bikes (durations over 30min will be charged though). Many thousands of recommendations and propositions have flooded into her office, that shall help rethinking the city with regard to social, democratic and environmental challenges. A text-book socialist.
Technically, I didn’t have to steal the bike. It could have used it for free to discover the streets of Paris. But I ran out of mobile data before I could register. As I checked the bicycles, I noticed that one of them was loose, not attached to the station. So I took it, despite it having no functional gear and barely any braking capabilities. Due to some misunderstanding or miscommunication, the museum where Nata and I wanted to meet was significantly farther away. Instead of riding 15min to the Musée d’Orsay, I cycled well over 45min in my Soviet-made blue, woolen overcoat on a bike with no gears. I arrived drenched in sweat and I had lost a borrowed scarf.
Museums
Paris has got all kinds of museum. There’s the world-famous ones such as the Louvre or the Centre Pompidou, however, there’s a further million or so lesser-known museum and they are all jewels in their own right. We didn’t spent much time in museums, surrounded by old stuff and things that may or may not have belonged to a former colony, because we had much to see in general. One museum I would have like to see was the Baltic Amber Museum. How cool is that? (we didn’t it visit it. If you did, please write me in the comments)
Sub-Culture
As I’ve already mentioned before Paris is no homogenous city. It’s divided into districts, called arrondissements. For an outsider the structure of the city can be confusing as it doesn’t follow an easily recognisable pattern. It rather follows a historical growth. It started as a fortified settlement on one of the Seine islands, then grew in a snake-shaped, circular pattern as it expanded onto the surrounding hills. The farther you get away from the center of the city, the more discernible social inequalities get. While the 16th arrondissement is a posh and unholy place, the 13th is more French, whereas the 18th is where all the former colonised peoples are lodged. You can also find a wonderful Georgian restaurant there called Colchide.
I stay in the 13th and found it really homely and agreeable. Plus its walls were covered in political dissent, art, personality. Here’s a few pics:
Other very surprising and humane things
Free drinkeable tap water! Everywhere. Guaranteed for free. You don’t even need to ask for it.
I know, for some this may not seem like a big thing – in Italy you get a free glass of water for every espresso you order – but I live in a filthy rich country, where capitalism has reduced the most basic of all human needs to nothing more than a potential source of income. It might not be much, but it somewhat restores my hope in humanity, especially as Nestlé has totally dried up city of Vittel’s springs and groundwater.
Cheerio, that’s all for now. If you haven’t been there, go on and visit the city for a few days, have a stroll, steal a bike and visit some museum. That’s why you want to go there anyway. However, in case you try to have a romantic moment with your significant other half, better go to Estonia in the middle of winter. It can offer you so much more in terms of privacy and the alcohol excesses that you crave.
NoMethDragon 