Putting the “grim” in Pilgrimage

Russia has this weird tendency to always be a little strange. This even applies to other spheres of life that one wouldn’t think of straight away. This weekend I had the extraordinary pleasure of experiencing my first short-distance hitchhiking trip: to the Raifa monastery. While the destination was but 30 minutes away by car, it already served as staff gauge for further upcoming trips. I was accompanied by a German girl, Sophia, who lived most of her life in a city right across the Mosel River, so basically in visual range to Luxembourg – I had to travel all the way to Kazan to meet my neighbour.

 

 

Raifa monastery has little amazing to offer to its visitors. It has the typical white-stoned walls, its golden cupola, the brightly and positive religious fresco that cover every single inch of the inner walls and, last but not least, it’s golden, shiny icons. And I may not be an expert on the matter, but I’d claim, that some icons value more highly than others. This is, some shine brighter than others, have been blessed zealously than others thus increased in magical/spiritual powers (how much mana must a priest or bishop invest to get a +10 Protection for Relatives bonus?) and show a different holy person or wise man. Even though I do not possess a picture to prove my testimony, there was a literal queue waiting to touch and even kiss an icon of Maria with Son. And the religious fervency with which they (i.e. especially women with children or babushki) threw themselves at a representation of holy people that no one has set an eye upon within the last 2000 years, made me question the rationality of these fine and humble people. Even on a different level, would it not be sufficient to carry the belief in one’s heart, rather than to spread it with ones lips on a picture that has been touched by thousands before? Is it not a little silly and hypocritical that one prays for a child that serves in the army (e.g.), rather than to make sure, that war isn’t a necessity at all? Would an active, defensive position not achieve more than putting ones trust in a being/spirit/dream and sometimes nightmare, that does little more than listen?

After witnessing this absurdity display of raw and untroubled Orthodox faith, we wandered around the premises of the monastery, investing into water from a heavenly water spring and holy bread and used the celestial privies. We made a careful inspection of the divine stone walls, that slowly started to crumble and inspected the cherubic monastic gardens. Blessed are the decorations outside the walls, for they are humble, yet still fascinate the eye of the observer; the modesty is more to the Lord, for he renounces the simple outward appearance. The propriety and decency weighs heavier than gold and polish, and they are more appropriate for people who profess to worship God.

 

 

 

One more detail in the monastery that startled me before turning to hitchhiking. What are monks supposed to do while living behind holy walls, untroubled by modern hysteria? Praying for oneself and meditating can be arduous work, since one will sooner or later encounter a bottleneck and run out of ideas. Therefore, one has established a place, where children can spend their time and listen to the dramatic and fascinating stories of their favourite biblical heroes or visit a military cemetery (spreading the word of God requires modern technology). Plus, if the children are gone to play with army equipment, yet one still has no time to worship our Lord, one can leave a small tip in the monastery; a monk will take over the labour and invest all of his magical power in protecting ones relatives before the evil forces.

 

 

 

A small note on hitchhiking in Russia: It’s working perfectly fine! Though we didn’t travel far away from the city, a no point did we wait more than 10 minutes and each driver was unique in a very specific way. However, the second car that helped us managing the final part of the road to the monastery was of greatest interest, as the driver was either suspicious or unwilling to helping us; it was but thanks to his passenger, who he picked up along the road as well, that he stopped. The passenger, however intrusive he might have seemed, promptly invited us to beer and sausages and was very keen on learning more about us foreigners, traveling to Russia, for he appeared to be blissfully astonished to hear this; especially, as he wondered whether Europe was cleaner than Russia (interesting comparison anyway). He was so absorbing in his manner, than he immediately succeeded in convincing the unaware driver to made a minor detour to the monastery, where the eventually left us off.

Our return to the city of Kazan was guaranteed by a former Танкист, a tank driver, who had served in the former GDR – it is very common for me to meet former soldiers while hitchhiking, who had all served in Socialist Germany for some years and who, without exception, all adored the German beer – and was on his way home.

Please excuse the bad quality

Our voyage ended back in the city of Kazan, where we were greeted by a world, completely opposite from the one that we had just left: Welcome back to Soviet Union!

 

Victory Park

 

 

 

 

“One can enjoy bureaucracy and therein identify the bizarreness of life” – Ludwig Schubert

Some of you might be slightly familiar with the rich Russian history. I will not continue with a full rendition of what has happened before, only state the most important factor that all major events have in common: time. Certainly, never has anything ever happened, is happening or will ever happen anywhere in this world or the next without the factor time. This accounts for all creation, all matter in the universe, all countries and all gummibears alike.

(Space is, of course, just as important. Historically speaking, however, space and time are not proportional. If you compare the first mention of historical relevance of two given countries, then you would quickly see how Luxembourg is relatively smaller than Mother Russia, despite the prominence it already enjoyed in Roman times.)

Time is a vital ally of Russia. In times of war, the military could just wait for the right moment to start a counter-attack. Sometimes the government would wait for its industry to slowly wake up. Most of the Russian people need to be patient for winter to end its long lasting choke-hold so that they return to their actual work or hobbies. In fact, this waiting is so deeply enrooted in the culture that is has found its way to spoken and written language alike: friends of the language should have a look at the usage of the aspects of the various verbs of movement.
In fact, time and patience or so important to the culture that everyone arriving in Russia is already welcomed with a lot of paperwork that will test their patience to the breaking point. You may want an example for the better understanding of this problem: If writing this blog required Russia bureaucracy to be written, that would mean that I would have to visit at least 5 different offices in 3 different buildings that are distanced by at least 500m (this is especially unpleasant in winter times when the temperatures drop below -20°), sign a dozen papers in official Russian and show three different types of copies of the exact same picture.

The door to the accountant’s office. Text says (among others): “Come in one by one!!!”, “Please, leave nothing behind”, “Working times”, yallah yallah

In reality, the situation is even worse.
Traveling to Russia, especially in the framework of a program as official and well-known as Erasmus+ will have you at your knees, begging for a quick end. The way leading up to our departure was paved with quicksand, rather than actual stones that could have facilitated or accelerated our movement. Every movement bringing you closer to being accepted to Russia and receiving a scholarship already requires a considerable number of signatures and time (meaning: 2 different Learning Agreements, 2 different Motivation letters as our first choice spontaneously changed, a number of meetings with the responsible, a CV and so on and all of which should be handed in in at least 2 languages and in different styles). All of this process took about 2 months of work, varying in intensity.

Moving on. The real work, however, awaited us after crossing the border to Mother Russia. The first days in the country that had been at choke-hold of frost for many months were marked by an overwhelming and utterly and completely nonsensical amount of paperwork that had to be carried out in great hurry and in dozens of offices. As one is required by law to register wherever one goes at any time, so that the surveillance state knows where its subjects and foreign elements plot against him, we immediately had to go through a medical examination in order to enter the prison/dormitory. This went as follows: A Turkmen girl impatiently waited for us in what was soon going to be our new cell/home and let us through the Poliklinika where a couple of doctors inspected our health, to make sure that we didn’t have Syphilis, Tuberculosis or some weird mutation of Western values or ideals (the latter they didn’t check). This small inspection exacted of us some hours of our lifetime, combined with a thorough visit of the many-store medical building.
The documents thus retrieved at the end of this examination granted us the right to actually enter our house (House 7, inhabited solely by foreigners). Once inside of the building, we very hurried through two more bureaus where we had to sign another wave of documents. They were, as all other documents or contracts, written in a complicated Russian – it is not entirely out of the world to believe that we transfered our souls to the Red Army in the course of our actions. Afterwards we could finally leave our luggage in our new living quarter where we were greeted by our new flatmate with a hospitable and warm “Oh! I didn’t expect any guests!”, before we put our snow capes back on and made haste to be back in our coordinators office. He, that is our coordinator Rustam – we figured that our nickname for him “Rastam” would be more accurate, if only he could grow his hair and started smoking hashish – then congratulated us on having achieved the rank of Novice Bureaucrat and for having survived the first day of our 5-month stay.
The day eventually came to end with two aliens falling into their beds in their cells in this prison in a strange and cold country, that had only given us a short impression of what the actual paperwork here could look like. At this point, when our exhausted bodies longed only for rest and the cessation of these absurd procedures, a sudden panic shook us awake: This had only been the first day, yet we still hadn’t chosen any of our courses that we were to visit, nor actually paid for the jail sentence/dormitory. In the course of the following weeks and months of our stay, we have learned to live with these absurdities and take it rather as a comical game, rather than an unfortunate and miserable stroke of injustice against us foreigners. It is a fact, that all beings who were regrettable enough to be born here, or those that have willingly and purposefully moved to Russia suffer very alike – with the minute distinction, that some were lucky enough to know Russian to a degree, that they can at least understand when they sell their kidneys to some authority when signing any paper.
However, once you have left the greatest part of the work behind you or have learned to live with it, then you will see that life moves swiftly and you may be surprised at the amount of meaningful work that a person can fulfil here, if they have overcome the hindering traps, obstacles and whatever may pave ones path – success is all about conquering the first steps and using all the help one can possibly find.

A small insight into the paper terror that we had to go through

Erste Eindrücke vom Studentenwohnheim: Das offene und freie Leben hat ein unerwartetes Ende genommen

Ein weiteres Kapitel unseres neuen Lebens in Russland wurde damit eröffnet, als uns der vollkommene Überwachungsstaat deutlich vor Augen gezeigt wurde. Das Schlimmste daran ist allerdings, dass wir inmitten dieses Wahnsinns leben müssen: Ausgerechnet dem Studentenwohnheim. Leute aus frei-denkenden Ländern geben freiwillig ihre Freiheit auf, sobald sie sich für eine Wohnung im Wohnheim entscheiden. Nachdem man zahllose Unterschriften verteilt, frustrierende bürokratische Hürden überwunden hat, stundenlang durch eiskalte (-20°) und verschneite Straßen gezogen ist auf der Suche nach dem nächsten „wichtigen“ Stempel, nur um sich dem freiwilligen Verzicht persönlicher Freiheiten Stück für Stück anzunähern.

Ein hoher Zaun, der von allen Seiten von Kameras abgedeckt wird, stellt das erste Hindernis dar. Die einzigen zwei Öffnungen in diesem Zaun werden ständig von Wachmännern überwacht, die jeden Eindringling abfangen. Dabei wird jeder gleichermaßen behandelt: Studenten aus anderen Wohnheimen oder Unis, Freunde, Familie, Terroristen, Proleten oder Angehörige des Adels – eine perfekte klassenlose Gesellschaft. All jene, die sich dafür entschieden haben, sich demütigen zu lassen durch Millionen Schritte von endloser Stempelsuche werden damit entlohnt, dass sie ihre Freiheiten abgeben müssen, die ihnen früher so wertvoll vorkamen. Nach 22:00 ist der Zugang zu den Häusern verboten. Studenten Häusern (insgesamt werden es etwa 30 sein) dürfen die anderen Häuser nie betreten. Ein wahrhafter Austausch mit Leuten aus anderen Ländern und unterschiedlicher Herkunft ist schwierig, mit Russen aus dem Wohnheim größtenteils ausgeschlossen. Und aus Erfahrung weiß ich, dass die Kommunikation mit Mitgliedern der Chinesischen Volksarmee immer problematisch ist, da deren Fremdsprachenkenntnisse immer auf eine Minimum begrenzt sind. Dazu kommt noch ein ineffizienter Akzent.

Alkohol, Zigaretten, sowie andere Rauschmittel, sind strengstens verboten auf dem Campus. Obwohl wir beide ziemlich sicher sind, dass auch diese Substanzen hier zirkulieren. Nicht mal das restriktivste und militaristischste System der Welt kann die totale Kontrolle darüber bekommen. Ganz gleich wie oft sie es als „böse Chemikalien“ etikettieren. Darüber hinaus wird es wahrscheinlich unmöglich sein, den Wodka aus irgendeinem Ort Russlands zu verbannen.

Die Räume betreffend: Der totalitäre Überwachungsstaat geht so weit, dass eine verantwortliche Person/Kapo auf jeder Etage abkommandiert wird, der seine Mitstudierenden ausspionieren muss. An zufälligen Zeiten können diese Leute in die Zimmer auf ihrer Etage eindringen und diese auf Missachtung der Hygiene- und Sauberkeitspflichten zu überprüfen, sowie auf das mögliche Vorhandensein von Rauschmitteln. Sollten diese zu oft aufgefunden werden, besteht die Möglichkeit, dass man vom Gelände verbannt wird.

Our beautiful Gulag

Vom ersten Eindruck her wirkt unser Zimmergenosse aus Liverpool komplett inkompetent. Aus Anonymitätsgründen nennen wir ihn für‘s Erste Mike. Mike interessiert sich im Leben nur für genau zwei Sachen: Russische Frauen(körper) und seinen eigenen Körper den er tagtäglich mit jedem synthetischen Substrat füttern, in der Hoffnung, irgendwann nicht mehr ganz so schmächtig zu sein. Und obwohl er sich jeden Tag einen solchen chemischen Cocktail hinter die Birne kippt, schafft er es nicht, seine vollen Müllsäcke runter zu bringen. Ein klarer Fall von Missmanagement! Da sein protein-durchweichtes Gehirn nicht mehr auf simple Nachfragen anspringt, müssen wir ihm seinen Aufgabenbereich in die Birne prügeln – mit manipulativen Zwängen kann man bessere Ergebnisse erzielen als mit roher Gewalt.

Andererseits erweist sich das Zusammenleben mit Ludwig in keinster Weise problematisch. Wir haben einen ähnlichen Geschmack wenn es um Musik oder Alkohol geht, der unglücklicherweise verboten ist (auf keinen Fall würden wir allerdings gegen die Regeln verstoßen und illegales Schmuggelgut in das Wohnheim einführen). Auch müssen wir uns mit den gleichen bürokratischen Problemen beschäftigen. Ich bin mir ziemlich sicher, dass unser Zusammen- leben und Arbeiten friedlich verlaufen wird… auch wenn unsere neuen Handtücher ein anderes Bild vermitteln.

Seid allzeit bereit für neuen Input von meiner Seite! Denn mehr Artikel werden folgen!

Natürlich mit armenischem Kognak

First impressions of the student’s dorm: The open and free student’s life has abruptly come to an end

Another chapter in this life in Russia was opened on the second day by introducing us the full-scale surveillance state that is the Kazan Federal University student’s dorm. People from free-thinking countries are stripped of their freedom, by willingly applying to this dormitory. After signing countless documents, going through major issues with bureaucracy, crawling through ice cold streets (-20° with strong winds) that are fully covered in thick and slippery covers of snow just to receive another “important” stamp that brings you closer to a self-induced abandonment of your right of freedom.

A high fence, littered with surveillance cameras all over, represents only the first obstacle. The two openings in that very fence are guarded by guards who keep a close eye for anyone (literally anyone) trespassing: friends, family, other students, nobility, proletariat or even terrorists will all be treated alike – a perfect representation of a classless society. Those who accept to be humiliated through million steps of horribly inefficient bureaucracy in order to get a yellow paper with their name, a stamp and a photo on it, will be allowed to give up many freedoms that they so dearly held onto. The houses cannot be entered after 10pm. After that, the doors are closed for anyone unknown to this house (about 30 in total). Students from other houses from the same dormitory premise must never enter another house. A true exchange with various groups of people and especially with locals thus seems to be doomed to fail. And from experience we know that communication with members of the Chinese National People’s Army is always problematic, as their foreign language skills are often reduced to a bare minimum, coupled with an extremely inefficient accent.

Alcohol, as well as other narcotics, are of course strictly forbidden. Though we wouldn’t be surprised if they were still circulating here. Not even the most militant and restrictive control state can get rid of what they label as “evils”. It is furthermore very unlikely that anyone can ban all forms of vodka from any place in Russia.

Also, some of the pavement gave way to a huge hole…

Concerning the rooms: The state of complete control extends itself to including fellow students to spy on each other, as there are those “responsible” who check on every room on their floor for order and the illegal smuggle of liquids. If you are caught too often neglecting hygiene or cleanliness of your flat, you can be banned from the premises.

Our beautiful Gulag

What Ludwig and I can say so far about our room situation is this, that our dear flatmate (dear clearly isn’t the right word to use in context with this individual) from Liverpool, England appears to fully and utterly incompetent. For the sake of anonymity, let’s call him Mike. Not only is Mike interested in only two things: having sex with Russian girls and pushing with wispy body with proteins and meat – an awful smell engulfs everything whenever he cooks – but he doesn’t wish to take responsibilities whatsoever. He may push his body with every kind of synthetical product on the market, and yet cannot lift 4 bags of trash and bring them downstairs. Clearly some mismanagement! As he doesn’t respond to our questions concerning the rubbish question, we will clearly be forced to beat our good advice into his protein-consumed brain.

However, life with Ludwig didn’t prove itself difficult in any way. We share a similar interest in music and alcoholic beverages – unfortunately they are fully prohibited and there’s no way we’re gonna smuggle illegal goods into a repressive student’s place – and find ourselves in a similar situation concerning bureaucracy. For the moment, I believe that our cohabitation will be peaceful… even if our new bathing towels indicate a different picture.

Stay tuned for more! For there will be more!

Wodkakonsum garantiert durch EU-Gelder: Eine Erasmus Story

Versucht es selbst mal! Bei der Erwähnung eines Begriffs, schreibt man sich den ersten Gedanken auf, der einem dazu einfällt. Nun überlegt ganz fix was euch durch den Kopf schießt, wenn man „Russland“ sagt. Ich habe den Test selbstverständlich mit zufälligen Leuten durchgeführt und dabei ist folgendes herausgekommen: Wodka, Putin, Bären und schöne Frauen.

Ludwig mit Vladimir Vladimirovich in der Föderalen Kazaner Universität

Ich habe angefangen das Land mit anderen Augen zu betrachten und mit von den Klischees zu entfernen. Aus diesem Grund, habe ich mich dazu entschieden, freiwillig nach Russland zu reisen um mich näher mich den Absurditäten vertraut zu machen. Im Rahmen des akademischen Austausches mit Erasmus (wir erhalten eine kleine Finanzspritze, daher der Titel), hat es mich zum Studium nach Kazan gezogen. Kazan ist ein Hotspot des friedlichen Zusammenlebens verschiedener ethnischer Gruppen. Allerdings bin ich nicht alleine angereist, sondern zusammen mit dem teuren Ludwig aus Berlin, um uns in ein Abenteuer zu stürzen in diesem kalten und zum großen Teil unwirtlichen Land. Keiner konnte sich eine Fortführung des Studiums ohne den anderen vorstellen, da wir uns bereits seit dem ersten Tag an der Uni kennen und seither eine ewig währende Freundschaft geschlossen haben, und… ja, ja! Wir kommen wohl wahrscheinlich nicht durch den „Homo Scan“, ohne dass alle Sirenen Alarm schlagen (leider gibt es die in echt und die stehen in jeder Metrostation).

Hier noch ein Bild von Ludwig:

Mein Blog wird mehr oder weniger aufgebaut sein wie zuvor. Neue, herausragende und ungewöhnliche Erfahrungen werden im gleichen eigensinnigen Stil notiert werden. Sobald wir uns in einer Situation befinden, die unsere Stereotypen von Russland entweder bestätigen oder in Frage stellen, wird ein Artikel darüber erscheinen. Aus jenem Grund werden wahrscheinlich Einträge zu den oben genannten Themen erscheinen – das heißt: Wodka, Putin, Bären und ähnliches.

Andererseits können auch kleinere Veränderungen vorgenommen werden. Im Kontrast zur traditionellen politischen Sphäre Russlands bin ich offen für verschiedene Meinungen und würde mich sehr darüber freuen, wenn jemand Kommentare oder Vorschläge für neue Einträge reinstellen würde. Welche Aspekte des typischen Lebens in Russland würde euch interessieren? Vielleicht die Küche? Oder vielmehr ein kleiner Reisebericht über eine Zusammenkunft mit einem Bären? Oder ist es ein direkter Vergleich zwischen russischer und tatarischer Gastfreundschaftlichkeit der euch faszinieren könnte?
Es gibt sogar noch mehr! Ludwig ist ein ausgezeichneter Fotograf. Darum haben wir uns gedacht, dass man unsere Talente vereinen könnte und meinen Blog mit seinen Bildern schmücken und andersrum seinen Bilden eine weitere Bedeutungsebene hinzufügen könnte. Leider können wir eine 100% Fortsetzung der Bildqualität nicht garantieren, da wir beide möglicherweise irgendwann unterschiedliche Wege einschlagen werden und ich daher auf meine eigenen Aufnahmen bauen muss.
Ein letztes Detail noch: Der Blog wird von nun an immer auch auf Deutsch veröffentlicht werden. Für die, die das Deutsche dem Englischen vorziehen und auch jene, die Deutsch lernen wollen und an einem direkten Vergleich zwischen den beiden Sprachen interessiert sind, könnte sich diese Entwicklung als interessant anbieten (leider können wir eine perfekte und fehlerlose Sprache nicht immer versprechen).

Fühlt euch frei, den Blog zu teilen, zu kommentieren, zu lesen, und, vor allem anderen, zu genießen!

(P.S.: Für weitere Bilder von Ludwig’s Seite, schaut euch doch seinen Insta an:
https://500px.com/ludwig94 )

The Art of Spending EU Money on Vodka

I did the test and asked random people about the first thing that pops up in their head when they think about Russia; the answers were as follows: Vodka, Putin, bears and beautiful women. (You should try this as home too. If anything else comes to mind, let me know.)

A picture of beautiful Vladimir Vladimirovich, taken in the University

I, however, just recently started connecting this country with something more than the cliché ones. As a matter of fact, I choose to go to Russia on my own to get further acquainted with what else one may find in this absurd place. I came to Russia to study in the academic framework of Erasmus, and for that reason we received a little financial backup (hence the title). To Kazan, to be quite precise. A hotspot of peaceful ethnic cohabitation. But I did not come alone. I am joined by dear Ludwig from Berlin on this adventurous journey through this cold and to the greatest part inhospitable place. None of us could imagine a continuation of their studies without the other, since we’ve met on the very first day of the university and ever since created an everlasting bond of friendship… we will certainly not get through the “Homo Scan” without the sirens going off (unfortunately, they are in every Metro station).

Here’s a picture of him:

My blog will continue more or less the same way that it used to. New, outstanding, unusual experiences will be noted in the usual opinionated fashion. If we find ourselves in a situation where we see the typical prejudices challenged or affirmed, you can almost be certain that an article about this topic will appear. For that very reason, there will probably be an entry on the keywords mentioned above, that is: Vodka, Putin, bears, and the like.
However, small changes shall be made. Contrary to the political tradition in our new habitat, I am open for different opinions and would very much rejoice at the sight of some commentaries or ideas for new entries. Which aspects of Russian lifestyle would you like to hear about? Maybe the cuisine? Or perhaps, you would enjoy a little travel story about a meeting with a bear? How about a direct comparison between Tatar and Russian hospitality?
There is even more! Ludwig is an excellent photographer. For that reason, we decided to put our skills together and promote my blog with his pictures and vice versa. Though, it is not 100% guaranteed that the quality of pictures will always stay the same, as we might walk different paths during our time spend here. For that reason, I might have to rely on my own pictures.
One last detail: The blog shall henceforth be translated into German as well. For those among you who prefer German to English, and for those who learn German and find it helpful to compare the two languages. (A complete absence of mistakes will, however, hardly be possible to obtain).

Feel free to share, comment, read and, most importantly, enjoy!

 

(P.S.: Here is a link to Ludwig’s artwork.
https://500px.com/ludwig94 )